Tuesday, February 12, 2008

my new favorite word...

...is sarchasm. it is defined as the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

apparently the washington post's mensa invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. here's what those geniuses came up with:
  1. cashtration (n.): the act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
  2. ignoranus: a person who's both stupid and an a-hole.
  3. intaxication: euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  4. reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly.
  5. bozone (n.): the substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
  6. foreploy: any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting lucky.
  7. giraffiti: vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
  8. sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
  9. inoculatte: to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  10. hipatitis: terminal coolness.
  11. osteopornosis: a degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit.)
  12. karmageddon: it's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it's a serious bummer.
  13. decafalon (n.): the grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
  14. glibido: all talk and no action.
  15. dopeler effect: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
  16. arachnoleptic fit (n.): the frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
  17. beelzebug (n.): satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
  18. caterpallor (n.): the color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

i also like 3, 10, 11, 14 and 18. what's your favorite?


Michele said...

I like 1, 2, 8, 11 and 12. Verrry funny.

Rachel said...

Unfortunately, I have expereince with 16 and 17 and NOT 10..I am such a loser.

Mrs. Fix said...

I'm gonna go with cashtration -- because that's how I feel sometimes!

Mrs. Fix said...

Fix and I thought of a new one of these! "HANGRY" - it is defined as the mood that Rock is in when he wakes up and he is not fed IMMEDIATELY... a little hungry, a little angry!

los wagner said...

rachel, that is awesome. thank you for sharing.