Tuesday, February 12, 2008

my new favorite word...

...is sarchasm. it is defined as the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

apparently the washington post's mensa invitational asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. here's what those geniuses came up with:
  1. cashtration (n.): the act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
  2. ignoranus: a person who's both stupid and an a-hole.
  3. intaxication: euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
  4. reintarnation: coming back to life as a hillbilly.
  5. bozone (n.): the substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
  6. foreploy: any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting lucky.
  7. giraffiti: vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
  8. sarchasm: the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
  9. inoculatte: to take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
  10. hipatitis: terminal coolness.
  11. osteopornosis: a degenerate disease. (this one got extra credit.)
  12. karmageddon: it's when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it's a serious bummer.
  13. decafalon (n.): the grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
  14. glibido: all talk and no action.
  15. dopeler effect: the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
  16. arachnoleptic fit (n.): the frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
  17. beelzebug (n.): satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
  18. caterpallor (n.): the color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

i also like 3, 10, 11, 14 and 18. what's your favorite?

Tuesday, February 5, 2008


that's right. we're gross. we all got some sort of intestinal parasite (stupid viruses) and are slowly on the mend. we're not sure if ella ever got it, although she has experienced sporadic vomiting. her mother on the other hand- the queen of vomiting- ended up in the ER on IV fluids and some anti-nausea medication. john, with his cast iron stomach, managed to squeak by with only a day of "light" vomiting and little josiah has gotten by without incident...so far. please Lord, let him stay healthy!

it's been a real hoot. i sure do love tossing my cookies.

thankfully, john's mom came down and watched the kids while i entertained myself seeing how much weight i could lose via dehydration. then she sat here until two in the morning with the kids while john and i sat in the ER. poor girl, i hope she doesn't catch it either!

it's funny because everyone that finds out i was sick asks "are you pregnant?"

i'll tell you what a day of raucous vomiting does...makes me soooo glad i got the tubes tied! as i was lying there on the gurney i just kept thinking 'oh please not another pregnancy' and just so you know...i'm not pregnant.